1. Men want to be desired. So let him know you are physically attracted to him & compliment him when you can. Let him know you're proud of his accomplishments.

2. Men aren't afraid of honesty & they don't want to feel like they have to change who they are for you. You can't change him so don't even try.

2. Men are linear in their goals & objectives & have no appreciation for drama. Don't come at him broadside especially if it is irrelevant to him.

4. Wrap your arms around him, show a little PDA. Initiate.

Women are linear too & believe that sexual desire comes first. Take a page out of Nike's book, "Just do it!" If you enjoy it, it's called responsive desire. It's a bio-psycho-social model that resonates with today's busy woman.

5. Never let him believe your love is conditional. Remember, he likes his freedom. Don't undermine him or threaten his masculinity.

6. Be authentic & real. Don't fake anything especially the Big O! Let him help you to experience them!

7. Talk to him......in bed. Guide him. Men are totally turned on when a woman verbalizes what she wants, what feels good & when she feels pleasure. Be vulnerable in bed, open up & let go.

You can still be a boss but be yourself & he'll be his.

What Eileen didn't expect when she was expecting was a change in her sexual function after the birth of her baby. Eileen and Edward resumed intimate relations as per the doctor's order at six weeks postpartum. Although Eileen felt closer than ever to Edward she was surprised that sexually things felt different. Her doctor recommended Kegel exercises but after many weeks, they didn't help with her lack of sexual sensation.

Eileen emailed me after hearing a segment on my radio show the Sunday Night Health Show with Dr. Bruce Alan an obstetrician and gynecologist. We spoke about those sensitive issues that may occur after a woman has a baby such as physical, psychological and relationship changes.

Women tell Dr. Alan that things have changed sexually after childbirth, it's not as pleasurable and they're not as engaged in intercourse anymore which may lead to relationship issues. Dr. Alan explained that after childbirth women experience a combination of tone and tissue changes due to the distention of the vagina during a vaginal delivery which is referred to as vaginal laxity or looseness.

The vaginal tissue is composed of collagen and elastin. With the stretching of the tissues during a vaginal delivery, collagen and elastin are lost. Kegel exercises may help to increase muscle tone but won't help with the sensation.

Restoration of collagen in the vaginal tissues is needed to improve sexual sensation for women. Dr. Alan and I discussed Geneveve by Viveve a new radio frequency, energy type treatment that heats the vaginal tissues and stimulates fibroblasts which are important in the restoration of collagen and elastin.

Genevieve, by Viveve is a safe, quick, painless and effective procedure that a woman can have performed in her doctor's office on her lunch hour. There's no risks, complications or downtime. By improving sexual sensation with Geneveve by Viveve.com Geneveve women can enjoy intercourse again!

Although a woman does this treatment for herself to make sex more pleasurable, Geneveve by Viveve Geneveve has a significant impact on relationships. Dr. Alan has had tremendous feedback from many women, who've told him Geneveve by Viveve has saved their marriages.

To hear the full interview please go to: Sunday Night Health Show December 18, 2017 show.

Maureen McGrath is a registered nurse, executive director of the Women's Health Initiative Network raising awareness about vaginal, sexual, uterine and bladder health. She is in clinical practice in North Vancouver. She also hosts the Sunday Night Sex Show on CKNW, is a TEDx Speaker, and author of Sex & Health: Why One Can't Come Without the Other. Her radio show is a free download on iTunes. Sunday Night Health Show

To learn more about Geneveve by Viveve go to Geneveve

He couldn't resist the temptation to cheat five times in three months. Hardly an affair. She'd asked him how he was. He succumbed. That's all it took for this God-fearing man.

They'd watched my TEDx talk on the No Sex Marriage: Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating and Shame. She wanted me to be an expert witness in his divorce trial.

He admitted to the indiscretion. Regardless, the division of assets lay in the hands of twelve southern jurors, not one with a high school diploma.

The deposition read like War and Peace, sans peace. 1000 pages, the cheating paled by comparison to the lesbian liaisons, limousine lovers, parental alienation, drinking, hateful women and murder.

Cheating is the ultimate betrayal but so is imposing fidelity in a sexless marriage.

In late winter, I flew to Georgia.

We met for dinner, the lawyer, her client and me. His lawyer wasn't sure if the best strategy was to bring attention to his indiscretion. The jury was impatient. This trial had been going on for weeks.

His ex-wife subpoenaed sixty friends. Besides, the lawyer felt the jury empathized with him.

A recess for Christmas. The trial played out into the New Year.

The assets were divided unfairly……in his estimation. His legal bill was $300,000.

Betrayal all around. He believed she never loved him. He didn't want the marriage to end.

The real sadness is that this couple never had the right help. Sexless marriage is a thing. There is help.

Maureen McGrath hosts the Sunday Night Health Show on CKNW, CHQR, CHED and CJOB. She is a registered nurse , executive director of the Women’s Health Initiative Network, and in clinical practice in North Vancouver. She also does telehealth consults for people and couples all around the world. A TEDx speaker, she is author of Sex & Health: Why One Can’t Come Without the Other. Her radio show is a free download on iTunes. Sextalk

Her website is: Back To The Bedroom

To book an appointment email Maureen at: [email protected]

Recognition of the problem is a good place to begin. Try not to have hurt feelings over this problem. It's a common couple occurrence. And, it’s not just men who suffer insipid sex. Women actually report boredom in the bedroom more often than men, according to research. Time to really man up guys!

There's something new on the menu for you. Set aside more time than you think you’ll need to satiate your sexual desires. Go in hungry, literally hungry. Be open. Be vulnerable. Own it. . Check your problems at the door. Keep the end game in mind. It’ll be fantastic, you’ll feel fulfilled and fabulous--if you follow my lead!

Chances are you have not satiated your sexual palate lately. Make a commitment together that the two of you will add flavour to your sexual repertoire. To do so, look no further than your own refrigerator--time to bring in the aphrodisiacs! Pour yourself a stiff drink. Then get out the whipping cream, chocolate sauce, honey, maple syrup and more. The ultimate in oral sex.

Now you’re getting it. Maybe it’s time to rekindle the flame somewhere other than your bedroom. Make love in the lav. Dim the lights, add candles. Think shower head. Excellent for experiencing sexual pleasure. Besides, it’ll make things hot and steamy. Place some thick luscious towels on the base of the tub and hop in. Run warm water, bask in your oasis.

Set up a smorgasbord of your favourite sensual flavours soon to be turned into sexual sensation delicacies. The softness of the whipping cream, the silkiness of chocolate, the sweetness of honey making a mess of maple syrup! Invite your lover to pick their favourite flavour gently applying, rubbing, massaging onto their erogenous zones. Touch, lick, taste. Oral love play.

Head for the shower, it’ll add some splash! With a little creativity, imagination, time and a towel, you’ll soon be asking, “what’s on the menu tonight, honey?”

Such was the case with Robert who got himself into a right mess. Robert met a woman at work to whom he was quite sexually attracted. Robert of course was not the "cheating kind." No one ever is. They started with long chats over coffee breaks which rapidly progressed to lovemaking at lunch. They would go for long walks along the ocean and slip in behind a tree in the forest, having passionate sex. It was fun and exciting!

Robert was at great risk for an extramarital affair (not an excuse) as he was a very vulnerable man. You see, Robert 43, married father of four was in a sexless marriage. He and his wife had not had sex for two years. He wasn't exactly sure why, he said. She'd had a million excuses. Fatigue, headache, too cold, too hot, fat stomach, it's painful and on and on... He wasn't sure which one to believe. They still got along quite well and parented even better together. He was happy with the relationship, just very unhappy with the lack of sex.

Problems begin when his lover told him she had chronic Hepatitis B. Hepatitis B is a liver disease caused by the hepatitis B virus (HBV). HBV is spread through contact with infected blood and body fluids including semen and vaginal fluid. Many people will contract acute Hepatitis B and will clear the virus within six months. In others it will become a chronic disease and may lead to cirrhosis, liver cancer, liver failure and early death. People can be vaccinated against Hepatitis B, however about 7% of those vaccinated will not build immunity.

Robert was a bit of a germaphobe and this led to anxiety for him. He and his mistress practiced safe sex with condoms and he used a dental dam to go down on her. This didn't give him 100% comfort and it shouldn't. Only 50% of those infected with HBV exhibit symptoms which may take 2 to 6 months to appear. Symptoms of HBV infection are: fatigue, loss of appetite, fever, nausea, vomiting, dark urine, pale stools, stomach pain, joint pain and jaundice. You can still infect someone during this time. Robert was devastated to learn that he may transmit Hepatitis B onto his unsuspecting wife.

The other problem for Robert was that his mistress was pressuring him to leave his wife and move in with her. He just wanted the sex, she desired more. This gave Robert pause."Would the sexual desire wane in the relationship with his mistress after a few years?" he asked. Most likely it would, due to the brain hormone PEA which accounts for the excitement when you first meet someone. The covert nature of the affair adds another element of excitement as well. I also reminded Robert that his risk of contracting HBV was significantly greater if he moved in with his mistress.

After careful consideration of his situation, Robert realized he might be jumping from the frying pan straight into the fire. I suggested he return to his wife and his marriage emotionally and hopefully with time and guidance, physically too. In order to do this, he would need to cut off all ties with his mistress. It would hurt. He and his mistress would need to grieve that relationship. I also recommended he obtain a Hepatitis B test now and again in six months.

But the repair of the relationship would need to begin before the tests results were back. His affair was his and he would have to bear it's burden. He felt guilt and wondered if he should disclose this to his wife. No need at this point. Telling her about his affair will only hurt her. That may change and there may come a time when he has to do so. Let's hope not.

Robert felt this was a good plan. Regardless of the outcome, Robert would feel better knowing he had at least tried to work out his marital issues. It's been three weeks since Robert came to see me. I see he and his wife have made and appointment with me for next week. Let the healing begin.

It's stories like Robert's that inspired me to write Sex & Health; Why One Can't Come Without The Other available for download on Amazon. You can also order it in hard copy on my website: Sex & Health Hard Copy

Maureen McGrath hosts the Sunday Night Sex Show on CKNW. She is a registered nurse , executive director of the Women’s Health Initiative Network, and in clinical practice in North Vancouver. She also does telehealth consults for people and couples all around the world. A TEDx speaker, she is author of Sex & Health: Why One Can’t Come Without the Other. Her radio show is a free download on iTunes. Sextalk

Her website is: Back To The Bedroom

To book an appointment email Maureen at: [email protected]

Dating is difficult at any age but especially as one advances in age and has a whole lot of baggage attached like kids who couldn’t imagine you replacing their mother. Or, grandchildren who view a new friend or lover a potential to their long-awaited inheritance. Or wrinkles.

But you never realized just how lonely being on your own could be. And loneliness is bad for your health. Loneliness and social isolation are risk factors for coronary heart disease and stroke. Loneliness does not necessarily mean being alone, rather it means the distressing feelings that are associated with discrepancies between desired and actual social relationships. In other words, meeting someone new is good for your health.

Meeting someone new is certainly better than finding partnership in a bottle or some other vice that may temporarily soothe your sorrows. But you’re probably asking yourself how to go about getting back to dating. How does one go about meeting someone in the golden years? The concept of dating began at the turn of the 20th century and has changed along with the times.

That said, dating at any age is fun and exciting and yes perhaps even a bit disappointing. Chances are you had a happy marriage which is a sure sign that you will end up in a new relationship and perhaps even sooner than you think. This is counterintuitive because most people would think the opposite is true. But think about it, if you were miserable in your marriage, why would you want to do that again? But if it was associated with happiness, you’ll certainly seek that again.

By now you’re probably wondering where and how to begin. Well, some things never grow old and that is the concept that having a friend fix you up with someone they know is a great first step. Let your friends know you’re looking. Also attend those events at the golf club or in the retirement community. Life is to be enjoyed, not endured especially after the loss of a loved one.

On-line dating is another option. It is the way of the world....the dating world anyway. And seniors are getting on the bandwagon. Seniors are one of the fastest demographics turning to technology," says Jennifer Cairns, co-founder of eGurus a technology tutoring company for people over 55. You will want to do some research here and definitely read the fine print before signing up.

If you’re young at heart, check out some of the more popular on-line dating sites like Plenty of Fish, Match.com and EHarmony. Most on-line dating sites are now catering to the golden girls and boys. If you act more like your age, try some on-line dating websites for seniors specifically such as Senior Match, Senior Friend Finder and Senior People Meet.

There are a few rules of the on-line dating road. First you will want to create a separate email account specifically for your on-line dating. This helps to maintain your privacy and you won’t risk sending an email to your daughter-in-law by accident.

Once you've chosen the site you wish to sign up for, you’ll be asked to create an on-line profile. This is where honesty is the best policy, but not too much. Be yourself, be real but don’t give away too much personal information. You don’t want people to know where you live.

Next up is the profile picture. It is well known that profiles with photos get more action. Keeping in line with honesty, take a new photo so your picture will be current. You want to be recognizable. But also, you want to make sure that the photo has never been used on-line before so a person isn’t able to match your picture to a google search and find out where you live. It is recommended that you take an action photo, so perhaps one where you’re playing tennis or hiking.

If you do decide to meet up with someone you’ve met on-line, make sure you meet them in a public place. Recently, I had a sixty-year old woman in my office who met someone on-line and she thought the proper thing to do would be to have him pick her up at her house. This is old-fashioned, times have changed I said. Not to mention, many women are at risk for sexual assault, violent crime and fraud.

You’ll be surprised at how connected you can feel to someone you’ve never met especially if they’ve said all the right things “on-line.” Some people fall easily and hard. Many women have sent their life savings over the internet only to learn the person was a fraud. It is ALWAYS a RED FLAG when someone asks you for money on-line. If someone asks you for money on-line, say no and immediately notify the police. They’ve likely victimized many others on-line.

Be open to whomever you meet on line. Don't discount them because of their age, height, weight or status in life. Before you go, be sure you tell someone you know where you’ll be going and with whom. Arrange to have a friend text or call you 15 minutes into the in-person date, just in case you need an out. Here's a hot tip. You can always spill your coffee on yourself, run to get napkins and never return.

On-line dating can be fun but remember there are risks and they need to be taken seriously. Sadly, there are predators on line. Many women especially are at risk for sexual assault, violent crimes and fraud.

The Vancouver police has seen an uptake in the number of reported crimes and has set up a website called Catch You to offer tips on staying safe on-line. Have fun, be yourself and stay safe.

This is a repost from the Langley Times online special publication. Maureen McGrath is a sexpert, women's health expert and hosts the CKNW Sunday Night Sex Show . Maureen's TEDx Talk on No Sex Marriage: Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating and Shame has 6.4 million views. Sexless marriage is a thing as is online dating. Maureen has a clinical practice in North Vancouver, British Columbia where she helps many couples in sexless marriages. Maureen is also available for Digital consults. Contact her at her website: Back To The BedroomBack To The Bedroom For more information about Mona Lisa Touch a new novel hormone-free therapy for vaginal dryness, painful sex, low sexual desire and urinary incontinence visit .

This societal malignancy of sexual harassment and workplace bullying, a common occurrence across every organization is difficult to understand. The good news is that these disgusting events ignited a firestorm in women and they began to speak up about their own situations. Most women have at least one. Hashtags like #MeToo and #MyHarveyWeinstein are pepper spraying the internet. And Harvey Weinstein never realized that Karma is actually....a woman. And Hell hath NO fury like a woman's scorn. Some men are now denouncing this behaviour but quite frankly guys it's too little and far too late.

But one might ask why don't women speak out about this soul and often career destroying behaviour? Worse, why do so few people who witness this behaviour fail to speak out or defend a target of a sexual harasser or bully? Fear. Fear all around. Fear that it was in their head for women (in part because we've been told we have hysteria for centuries). Fear that it would be perceived by others as their own fault because they had a drink or were dressed provocatively.

Those who witness sexual harassment or workplace bullying remain mum too. They're also scared. They don't want to lose their jobs. They may have been unemployed for a protracted period of time and fear job loss. Take Anna, a two bit scientist at a startup company, she was unemployed for three years when the rates of unemployment were at an all time low. How depressing is that? PhD and no job.

So when one of those startup companies was looking for a "scientist", she finally landed a job. She was hired because of her vulnerability because the head of the company was a narcissist. He thought he could abuse her and thought she would never call him on his abusive behaviour. He was right about one thing.

She witnessed many incidents of targeted workplace bullying and sexual harassment. However, early on, she got across to her boss that he was never to treat her the way he treated other women and he didn't. Why? She wielded some power. She learned her boss, a closeted gay man was having an affair with a well-known male politician. His out of work life consisted of cocaine fuelled addiction, depression, despair and men having sex with men.

She also knew the secrets of the science or lack thereof at this company and the promises to those who'd invested millions. Nothing there. According to her, his "solve a global problem" solution was a farce. It didn't work and she let him know it. Her job was safe. She held the power. As for abuse of the other women? Anna, mother of three young daughters, turned a blind eye.

Women are treated unfairly so often by men in the workplace. We are paid less and passed over for promotions, mansplained to and manipulated for sexual favours. Working in and outside of the home is often not too easy.

Unfortunately as the target of a sexual harasser or a workplace bully, without the support of colleagues, women are unarmed. They have no idea what to do and think there is nothing they can do. They blame themselves, try harder, become stressed may experience anxiety, heart palpitations, weight loss and sleep disruption. Many women suffer the effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder much like victims of war after they've been sexually assaulted, harassed, or bullied in the workplace.

There are some important things women can do to deal with this.

Here are my suggestions:

1. Document any quid pro quo behaviour by your abuser, i.e. sexual favours in exchange for a promotion or job.

2. Document date, time, place and any witnesses of behaviour

3. Document in a notebook not on your computer and keep it in a safe place.

4. Gather the evidence, text messages, sext messages, emails and voicemails.

5. Report the harassment at work, in writing. If you had a conversation about it, follow up with an email.

6. File a complaint with the BC Human Rights Tribunal or whatever regulatory body has jurisdiction over this. BC Human Rights Tribunal has a six month statute of limitations.

7. Hire an employment lawyer. They will often not charge you until a settlement is reached.

Unfortunately, settlements silence women but if a company has enough of them to pay out, then the culture may begin to change. There are times when a job isn't worth one's soul and the only real option may be to leave the company, soul intact.

Maureen McGrath is an expert on workplace bullying and sexual harassment, a sexpert, women's health expert and hosts the CKNW Sunday Night Sex Show . Maureen's TEDx Talk on No Sex Marriage: Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating and Shame has had close to 6 million views in one year. Sexless marriage is a thing. Maureen is the creator of the blog 50ShadesofPink.ca and has a clinical practice in North Vancouver, British Columbia where she helps many couples in sexless marriages. Maureen is also available for SKYPE consults. Contact her at her website: Back To The Bedroom For more information about Mona Lisa Touch a new novel hormone-free therapy for vaginal dryness, painful sex, low sexual desire and urinary incontinence visit Mona Lisa Touch.

Janet 38 and Mark (not his real name) 40 had been married ten years. Two years prior Janet came to see me for recurrent urinary tract infections. When I asked her if she was sexually active, she said she wasn't mainly because she didn't really like sex that much. Probing a bit further, I asked her how her husband felt about that. She gave me the same response many women in sexless marriages give me which was,"my husband is so patient."

Janet returned to see me two years later because she found out that her husband wasn't so patient after all. She had received emails and photos from a woman I will call Lynette who told Janet all about the affair she had been having with her husband Mark for just under two years. Janet was not only heartbroken, she felt like a complete fool. How could Mark have done this to her? How could she not have known? Hindsight is 20/20 and she realized that all of those late nights at work were ones where he wasn't paid. She also realized the error of her ways.

She remembered that I had told her that there were risks to a sexless marriage like infidelity and she said that at the time she thought I was completely wrong and that would never happen to her. Aside from a lack of sex, Janet and Mark's relationship was nearly perfect, she told me. They got along really well, liked the same things and were great parents together. They were the envy of their friends.

The lack of an intimate relationship between spouses after marriage is essentially true due to many factors that hinder them from having an intercourse-filled family life. There are many excuses couples make to one another. Many ignore the subject of sex. Few realize the risks until it is too late. Building a sexual relationship is essential for the success of the marriage and for the marriage to last. The question is how does a couple go about finding that balance.

Make sex as important in your relationship as anything else, including kids, in-laws and finances. Care for one another. Make time for intimacy. Take care of each other's pleasure. Talk about sex with one another. Make sex fun. Share your fantasies. Communicate. Let your partner know when you are upset about the lack of sex in your marriage. Tell your partner what you desire, whether it is French kissing more, oral sex, blindfolds, light ties, a threesome or something else. If you make a sexual suggestion and your partner isn't so keen, see if it is an absolute no or or whether they'll give it consideration in the future.

Make no excuse. Sex. Is. Important. In. Marriage.

Are you headed to a Sexless Marriage? Take the Quiz Sexless Marriage Quiz

Maureen McGrath is a sexpert, women's health expert and hosts the CKNW Sunday Night Sex Show . Maureen's TEDx Talk on No Sex Marriage: Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating and Shame has had close to 6 million views in one year. Sexless marriage is a thing. Maureen is the creator of the blog 50ShadesofPink.ca and has a clinical practice in North Vancouver, British Columbia where she helps many couples in sexless marriages. Maureen is also available for SKYPE consults. Contact her at her website: Back To The Bedroom For more information about Mona Lisa Touch a new novel hormone-free therapy for vaginal dryness, painful sex, low sexual desire and urinary incontinence visit Mona Lisa Touch.

When sex diminishes or disappears in a marriage, masturbating to the ever-present on-line pornography rises indeed. A 1992 study found that 29 percent of men masturbated at least once a week. In 2014, 49 percent of men confessed to masturbating at least once in the previous six days.

We need to look further into this upward trend of a rising problem in marriage today. Trends in my clinical practice happen too (like the time where one stay-at-home mom after another paraded in to confess their extra-marital affairs). Recently I've noticed an escalation of a different persuasion; the number of married men coming alone to my clinical practice to talk about their troubled marriages.

There's often a disconnect, a desire discrepancy. The wives in these unhappy marriages are on the hunt for marital mattresses that come with a fence down the middle, a trap door or a wall. We know how well walls work. Hello Mr. Trump. No one gets in. The men are on the hunt to seek happiness and pleasure. Hence, he comes alone to therapy to discuss his marital mess. And many of these marriages are a mess.

This is the opposite of what one would expect. Women are the ones who typically seek health care for the family. However, sexuality is not perceived as health or care. But I beg to differ. Emotional, physical, relational and sexual health are all so important in the welfare of an individual, couple or family. Love one another is often my best advice.

The unhappily married men who present to my clinical practice are ready to blow their heads off (pardon the pun). They are confused, frustrated and worried. They have children, mortgages and in-laws. They want the best for their children and worry about the opinions of their parents. These men are one half of those "perfect couples" who work long hours, live on tree-lined streets, belong to the best country clubs and engage in community activities. Yet they feel alone. Unless of course, they're not. Read on.

Many of these men have dealt with their marital unhappiness and often non-existent or dissatisfying sex lives by drinking, drugging or dancing with danger. Yes, they've sought solace in the arms of a welcoming woman who "gets them." Sounds great, guys right? Only until these women put pressure on them to leave their wives, families, country clubs and friends, haunted by the tick tock of their biological clock. Another baby? That's often the wake up call they needed to deal with the mess in their marital bed.

The wives refuse to come....to seek help that is. Maybe it is because more women are masturbating than ever before. A 1992 study found that 9 percent of women masturbated at least once a week. In 2014, 32 percent of women confessed to masturbating at least once in the previous six days. With rates like that, who needs a man? It's like a mismatched mattress and only you know that imperfection lies beneath the sheets.

"What will a therapist say that my mother won't," is the battle cry of many miserably married women. Ahem. A lot. A mother-in-law has no business in between the sheets. So the husbands come alone. (pun intended). These men want to save their marriages or at least try. And it's hard for them.

Men are often not taught about feelings. Feelings are for fairies. Man up. Don't cry. You the man. But they're so often not the man. Raised as protector and provider, they rapidly lose any sense of healthy power when the pants are worn and never taken off by their respective wives. These men are in pain. Their dreams have become nightmares. Hence their despair after years of problems percolating inside.

There is value in men coming by themselves. To my clinical practice, that is. They learn they're not actually alone. These issues are common. Plus aside from the release coming alone provides, it may be the first time they can share their story, thoughts, ideas and feelings in a safe, private and confidential place. They also learn that they cannot blame their troubles exclusively on their wives. They learn the role they play in their acrimonious marriages.

Therapy is a gift you give to yourself. When we share our feelings, we release the pain. Yes, I've seen real men cry. And crying is cathartic. And's it's ok. Men begin to heal. So he comes back to my clinical practice and often the marriage. Oh sure, it's fine that men come alone but I stand firm, it's always better when couples come together.

Maureen McGrath is a sexpert, women's health expert and hosts the CKNW Sunday Night Sex Show . Maureen's TEDx Talk on No Sex Marriage: Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating and Shame has had close to 6 million views in one year. Sexless marriage is a thing. Maureen is the creator of the blog 50ShadesofPink.ca and has a clinical practice in North Vancouver, British Columbia where she helps many couples in sexless marriages. Maureen is also available for SKYPE consults. Contact her at her website: Back To The Bedroom For more information about Mona Lisa Touch a new novel hormone-free therapy for vaginal dryness, painful sex, low sexual desire and urinary incontinence visit Mona Lisa Touch.

Are you headed to a Sexless Marriage? Take the Quiz Sexless Marriage Quiz

Married men may experience frustration at repeated rejection because they initiate sex more often than women do but women may be even more devastated at male rejection believing there is something unattractive or undesirable about them to their partner. Men just think women hate sex. But that's another blog post.

Once couples marry, it seems that sex priorities change dramatically. Couples settle in like they would an old comfy couch. Appearances of a perfect union to the neighbours, friends and/or relatives may be more important than a bond in the bedroom.

With kids comes fatigue, smaller space, stress or a move to the suburbs and the need for a new vehicle. You will never have sex in a minivan so don't even think about it. Time, desire, finances, conflict resolution strategies, in-laws and jobs replace the passion of yesteryear (as long as you didn't marry your best friend or answer the call of your ticking biological clock which means sex was doomed from the start).

So if your wife seemingly hates sex unless she wants something (shoes, a new car or a baby) or if your husband is covertly arranging threesomes with women he's never met (a sure sign of the sexually deprived husband), or if your husband prefers sleep to seduction, your wife is too tired for sex but not shopping, you may be a victim of married sex. And here are the signals:

1. If you do this……I will have sex with you sex….This is sex that is typically associated with an unfinished home project, a hedge trim, the promise of a household chore or simply putting down the toilet seat. (women's standards are pretty low)
2. Shower Sex: The water is hot and the sex isn't. It's awkward, done only to save time.
3. Hurry up sex: The kids are awake, home, listening, going to walk in etc sex. Inevitably she hears someone at the door whether they are there or not. She will check and ruin the moment.
4. Did you did you did you.....? sex. This is transformational sex which goes from in the early days of dating, was that good for you baby? To did you, did you, did you......finish? What's wrong with you? We've been at this for a minute and a half. The hard truth is a soft reality.
5. Morning sex: I am in mourning over the loss of my sex life.
6. Sex anytime anywhere sex: You: Honey, I'm breastfeeding, have a fever, abdominal pain, diarrhea, a runny nose and am bleeding from every orifice. Him: Can we have sex?
7. Tech Sex: No this isn't about vibrators, but about watching tv or checking your iPhone during sex.
8. I want another baby sex. Yes! Yes! Yes! The sex life is reignited. Because most men’s brains are below the belt they are more than happy to oblige because pregnancy is the last thing they think will result from unprotected sex when a woman is ovulating. Our brains are hard-wired for instant gratification. So is his.
9. Why can’t we just cuddle sex? This needs no further description.
10. I wanted to but you were sleeping sex: You didn’t come upstairs fast enough and I fell asleep. Or I just had so much to do downstairs and by the time I came up (the next day), you were asleep.
11. Lights out sex- especially after children, with weight gain, peri-menopause, menopause
12. I just bought 6 pairs of Jimmy Choos sex. Cowboy, take me away!

Both men and women in same sex marriages or heterosexual unions who are deprived of sex from their spouse, experience sadness, loneliness and are at increased risk of hypertension and early death.

The signals above are foreplay to a marital fiasco. Sex in marriage does ebb and flow because marriage is under the constant influence of sex, money and in-laws. Technology too may extinguish the spark. Blue light emission interrupts your sleep and you are more likely to fight the next day. Libido plummets due to resultant tech fatigue. This may be an addiction and every bit as lethal as an addiction to alcohol, drugs, porn, sex, food or shopping.

Communication is key. Keep having the talk. The. Sex. Talk. And it's actually women who report more boredom in the bedroom. Talking about sex is arousing. Why do you think sexting is so popular? Keep in mind, a lack of sex in a marriage is the number one reason for divorce.

So if you're having more quickies than coital extravaganzas, more rejection than reconnection, she prefers long johns to lingerie or if long john is rather lonely, it may be time to massage the marriage and get Back To The Bedroom. Making sex a priority in your marriage is good for intimacy, health and your relationship. Yes, take a page out of Nike's book and "Just Do it!" But just do it well.

Maureen McGrath is a sexpert, women's health expert and hosts the CKNW Sunday Night Sex Show . Maureen's TEDx Talk on No Sex Marriage: Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating and Shame has had close to 6 million views in one year. Sexless marriage is a thing. Maureen is the creator of the blog 50ShadesofPink.ca and has a clinical practice in North Vancouver, British Columbia where she helps many couples in sexless marriages. Maureen is also available for SKYPE consults. Contact her at her website: Back To The Bedroom For more information about Mona Lisa Touch a new novel hormone-free therapy for vaginal dryness, painful sex, low sexual desire and urinary incontinence visit Mona Lisa Touch.

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